


Love Lies Bleeding

by wednesdays__child



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angels, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Reincarnation, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 10:51:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12862962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wednesdays__child/pseuds/wednesdays__child
Summary: Amaranthiel is an Angel of Death who finds his soulmate in a human. What happens when he loses his love and will he find him again?





	Love Lies Bleeding

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the lovely art by Dazeventura6 who also betaed this. Thank you so much for all of your input and help, especially all the little details about this that I absolutely love. Your help was invaluable. 
> 
> Art can be found [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12845502)
> 
> Spoilers through Season 11.
> 
> Song is Hemorrhage by Fuel.

**Love Lies Bleeding**

__________________________________

Memories are just where you laid them  
Dragging the waters  
Till the depths give up their dead  
What did you expect to find?  
Was it something you left behind?  
Don't you remember anything I said when I said

Don't fall away  
And leave me to myself  
Don't fall away  
And leave love bleeding  
In my hands

In my hands again  
Leave love bleeding  
In my hands  
In my hands  
Love lies bleeding

Oh hold me now  
I feel contagious  
Am I the only place  
That you've left to go  
She cries her life is like  
Some movie black and white  
Dead actors, faking lines  
Over and over and over again she cries

Don't fall away  
And leave me to myself  
Don't fall away  
And leave love bleeding  
In my hands  
In my hands again  
Leave love bleeding  
In my hands  
In my hands  
Love lies bleeding

And I wanted  
You turned away  
You don't remember  
But I do  
You never even tried

Don't fall away  
And leave me to myself  
Don't fall away  
And leave love bleeding  
In my hands  
In my hands again  
~ Hemorrhage by Fuel

 

*************

Amaranthiel stood atop his favorite hill overlooking over the city. He turned his face toward the east, aching to feel the warmth of the sun on his face. But there would be no sunshine to warm his skin, no bright rays to illuminate his worn features. Man had laid waste to the world and now all that he could see was a hazy red glow as the sun began to rise. He hated looking upon the destruction that Man had caused, knowing that this once beautiful world was now slowly dying. He stretched his thick, leathery wings out wide, aching to take flight but knowing that doing so would put even him at risk in this toxic atmosphere.

He gasped as the skin on his shoulder began to ache. He reached up and scratched at the mark that had graced his body for so long - a beautiful, detailed amaranth forever marked into his skin. He looked around, his head swiveling from left to right as he searched for the one that was causing the pain. The only thing that would make him ache, that would hurt him so was Spencer. His soulmate was somewhere nearby.

Amaranthiel flapped his wings twice before quickly taking to the air. He coughed and wheezed as he flew through the haze, squinting as he sought out the one he was looking for. He had spent so many lifetimes looking for him, he was not going to let the man get away again.

He was nearly ready to give up when he saw it, just a glimpse of chestnut colored curls, and he knew, knew he had found him. Swooping low, the angel landed before him, standing frozen as he looked into the face of the man he had been searching for much too long.

“Spencer,” he whispered, aching to reach out and touch his love. The young man turned, looking around as if he were searching for the one who had called his name. He looked right through where the angel stood and Amaranthiel didn’t fight to hold back the tears that began to fall. He was here, the one he’d searched for ever since the day his Spencer had died in his arms and Amaranthiel’s brother had swept him away, carrying him into the afterlife so Spencer could be reborn. And now that he had found him, he would do everything in his power to stay with him.

Spencer turned and quickly walked away, heading off into a dark alley. Amaranthiel had been in this area of town many times but he’d never taken notice of the stark warehouses. He watched as Spencer looked around, making sure he was not being observed before the young man pulled a set of keys out of his satchel and quickly unlocked the door before him. He slipped inside, harshly slamming the door behind him and throwing several locks to secure the door.

Smiling, Amaranthiel passed through the wall easily and blinked as he looked around the brightly lit room. It was amazing, beautiful and so much like something he had not seen in so long. Before him were trays and trays of plants, vibrant green and thriving under the bright lights hanging overhead. Spencer passed through the rows, touching several of the plants as he went. He quickly made his way over to the desk in the corner, picking up the tablet and scrolling through several screens before making his way back to the plants.

Taking flight again, Amaranthiel hung at the zenith of the roof of the warehouse, getting an overview of the operation. The entire warehouse was full of plants, not just plants, but food. Rows and rows of fruits and vegetables - bright red strawberries and tomatoes, dark purple eggplant, white cauliflower and on and on. Of course his Spencer would do his best to find a solution to the biggest problem of their day. Man had destroyed the world with constant construction, encroaching on more and more land, and constant war. Half the planet was starving to death, the other killing each other with war. Somehow, Spencer had come up with a way to grow food in a controlled environment when no one had been able to make it happen in the earth once the soil had become too toxic to farm.

The door opened again and a young woman slipped in. Amaranthiel’s breath caught when he recognized the soul immediately. Of course they would find each other again. The woman, still blonde but much less brightly dressed, walked up and greeted Spencer, hugging him tight.

“Hi Doc. How are the babies doing today?”

Spencer smiled as he pulled away. “They are doing great, Gomez. Thanks for the newest batch of seeds. I think we’ve got a great chance of this entire batch making it to full term. Did you talk to the co-op?”

“I did,” the woman declared as she made her way to the desk in front of the massive amounts of monitors. She sat and began typing away furiously. “The chicks all look healthy and the two mama goats are producing milk. The feed you developed seems to be working just fine.”

Spencer smiled as he continued to tend to his hydroponic farm. Amaranthiel stood watch in the air, keeping his attention on the young man he wanted more than anything in the world. He felt a pull at his grace - once, twice - but he ignored it. He was shirking his duty, allowing lives to pass on to the next without his comfort, making them find their own way into The After, but he couldn’t make himself care. Many found their own way. He needed this time, this was for him.

Many hours later, the young man finished his work, kissed the young woman on the cheek before he moved to leave. The angel flew from his post at the ceiling, following so close to the young man that he could smell the scent of the soap he used in his hair. He noticed how careful Spencer was being. He looked around him, constantly checking his surroundings and varying his route and even backtracking a couple of times so that it would be difficult to follow him. Amaranthiel was impressed.

Finally, the young man walked up to a rundown, dilapidated building, quickly plugging in the code before slipping inside. The angel followed.

When Spencer entered the apartment,  Amaranthiel nearly cried, it was all so familiar. Books covered every surface from the small table before the worn couch, on the floor in every corner and even piled next to the tiny bed. He moved around lightly touching every surface, scanning every book title. He waited, wondering what he was going to do now. He’d dreamt of this moment over the ages and now that it was here, he found himself faltering. He knew what he wanted to do, what he’d planned, but that would ruin the young man’s life, change his worldview permanently.

He stood back, watching as Spencer moved around his apartment, slowly fixing his dinner of government rations mixed with some of the vegetables he kept hidden in a secret compartment of his refrigerator.  Amaranthiel smiled as the young man savored the food, chewing slowly to make the food last.

Most of the world was subsisting on an approved protein block that was engineered to give them all the nutrients they needed to survive without them ever having to consume any real food. But Spencer was trying to change that, trying to bring food back to the world.

Once the food was consumed and he had cleaned up, Spencer showered for the state regulated seven minutes before changing for bed. Amaranthiel watched and waited, standing at the foot of the bed until the young man’s breathing evened out and the angel knew he was finally asleep.

Taking a deep breath, Amaranthiel closed his eyes and drew upon his Grace until he became solid, became real. He pulled his wings in tight to his body as he called out, “Spencer.”

The young man’s eyes fluttered softly, slowly before they opened and he blinked into the darkness. Amaranthiel watched the play of emotions over the beautiful features he remembered so well. Surprise, fear, confusion, and finally recognition when he whispered, “You!”

Amaranthiel gasped. “You know me?”

Spencer nodded as he sat up, the sheets falling down and pooling at his waist, revealing his beautifully toned chest. “I’ve seen you, seen that, in my dreams.”

He looked down to where Spencer was pointing. His tattoo, his symbol, the amaranth marking his shoulder.

“You dream of me?”

When Spencer nodded, he smiled. “LIke this? Or like this?” The angel closed his eyes as he felt the change take over his body. He was no longer Amaranthiel, Angel of Death. No, now he was Aaron Hotchner, soulmate and love of Spencer’s life.

“How?” Spencer asked. “How have I been dreaming of you and now here you are?”

Aaron sighed as he stepped closer to his love. “There is much to explain and not much time to do it. They will be looking for me and once they discover what I’ve done, we will be in terrible danger. What I can tell you now is that I’ve been looking for you for centuries. You’ve held my heart in your hands over lifetimes you don’t even remember. You and I are soulmates and all I’ve thought about since your passing is finding you again and now that you are here, I don’t know what to do. So you must decide , do you want the story or do you want to roll over and go back to sleep? If you do, this will all be a dream like the ones you’ve had in the past.”

Spencer took his time to think about it, debated what he wanted until he slowly nodded, staring up into the dark brown eyes that haunted his dreams.

“Please. Tell me the story.”

Aaron smiled as he stepped around the bed, settling next to the man he’d searched for for so long. He longed to reach out and touch, but it was not time for that yet.

“I can’t believe you’re not worried, not freaking out about this.”

Spencer smiled at him softly. “I don’t know. The world is weird and I've seen things I didn’t think were possible. This might still be a dream. I don’t know. But I do know that this is different than any other dream I’ve ever had. I want to hear, I want to know.”

Aaron sighed, leaning in closer as if he was sharing a secret.

“There are creatures in the world that are not of this world. Some humans call us angels, some call us death. Our purpose is to ease the transition from one life to the next. Those that are good, we welcome them, comfort them and help them. Those that are not, the tainted ones, we capture and subdue them in the hopes that we can keep them from moving on to the next life.”

“So supernatural beings really do exist?” Spencer asked. Aaron nodded, pleased to know that his love still held onto that sense of wonder and logic.

“Yes.”

“But when I see you in my dreams, you look like this. No wings or halo or anything.”

Aaron chuckled. “I have no halo. I am not that kind of angel.”

They smiled at each other and Aaron’s heart clenched with the familiarity of it.

“Then why do you look like this?”

“We must all become human for a time so that we will know what it is like to die. This is what I looked like during that lifetime.”

Spencer studied him, looked over his features, every wrinkle, every line, every flaw. Fingers reached out as if to touch and Aaron flinched away, evading the touch. When confused hazel eyes stared at him, he smiled. “You’re not ready for that yet.”

“Do I..?” He started, pausing as if he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer. “Do I look the same?”

Aaron regarded the younger man. He did. He did look the same but so different as well. He didn’t trust his voice, so he simply nodded in reply.

“Tell me.”

Aaron sighed, knowing his time was short. He needed to do this and do it now.

“I did not want to become human. I had seen all the ways that humans hurt each other, all the ways they are mean and cruel and awful. But I had also seen all the ways that they love and give to one another. I was afraid. Finally, I had no choice. I left all that I knew behind and was born Aaron Michael Hotchner.”

“Is that your name?” Spencer asked.

Aaron chuckled lightly. “That is what you may call me.”

“Aaron.”

Just the sound of that single word sent chills up his spine.

“Being that child was not an easy thing. I was sent to parents with tainted souls. I think it was a cruel joke because I had waited so long to descend but I will never know the truth of that. My father was especially cruel. He beat me every chance he got. As a boy, I never understood why he hated me so much. It was as if my very existence was an affront to him. Now I know, his soul feared me. I suffered beatings from my father and neglect from my mother. I was never so happy than the day they sent me away and I finally discovered the truth.”

“What happened?”

“I was given this.” Aaron ran his hand over the stark black lines spreading all across his left shoulder.

“A tattoo?”

Aaron chuckled lightly. “This is not ink from any man. This is a mark - my mark. Do you know what this is?”

“It’s an amaranth,” Spencer explained. “Amaranthus caudatus, also known as love lies bleeding. It was considered a symbol of hopeless love.”

“It was truly a mark meant for me.”

“So, what? It just showed up one day?”

“Yes,” Aaron sighed as he reached out to grab the long, graceful fingers he loved so. “I woke that morning and my entire life was changed.”

Slowly, he brought Spencer’s hand up until it was hovering over the mark, He pressed the palm down against his skin and shuddered as the memory washed over him, as fresh as if it was the day it happened.

_Aaron had been asleep, having spent the night before studying hard. He had entered college a year early, hoping to complete his Bachelor's degree in three years instead of four before applying to Law School. He’d called Haley not long before nodding off and he wondered what was waking him now. His alarm was not sounding and his roommate was gone for the weekend. Pain flared across his left shoulder, a flame burning bright just under his skin. He shot up out of the bed, throwing off the covers and ripping his shirt off up and over his head._

_He stared down in horror as he watched black lines forming beneath his skin, swirling and dancing around, forming a picture before his eyes. As he watched the beautiful picture come together, realization slammed into him. Suddenly, he knew. He knew what he was, who he was, what he was meant for. He was an angel trapped in a human body, destined to live a hard life to help others when their life was over._

_The revelation brought tears to his eyes and, thinking of his life, his family, his future, Aaron began to weep._

Spencer gasped as he jerked his hand away, his breath coming in hard pants. He reached up, pawing at his shoulder as if he was searching for the source of pain on his own body.

“I...I felt that!” He ran his hands over his face, checking for tears. “How..?”

“It’s my Grace. It’s why I feared you touching me. I’ll try to be careful.”

“No!” Spencer nearly shouted. “No,” he repeated with a small smile. “I want to know. Please.”

Aaron couldn’t keep the smile from his face. His Spencer. Always so thirsty for knowledge. When Spencer reached out again, Aaron moved away, holding his hands up in warning.

“Please. You must let me tell you the story. If you touch when I am not ready, I cannot control the memories and you could be overwhelmed.”

Spencer sighed, dropping his eyes and hands to his lap. “Okay then. Tell me.”

“It took me a while to come to terms with what I was. Imagine at that age discovering that all you knew was false, that the world is so much bigger than you ever dreamed, that you were meant for so much more. I threw myself into my studies, determined to make the world a better place. I fell in love with Haley, the only girl I’d ever wanted and we talked about marriage and maybe starting a family. I was doing good work but I always felt like there was more to do, that sending people away after they had done horrible things to other people was not changing the world. So I decided to find a way to do what I did in The After - comfort those that are good and capture those that are not. I had no other choice.”

Rough callused fingers trailed circles over the pale smooth skin of the back of Spencer’s hand. He reached out and grabbed the long, lithe fingers he loved and pressed the palm to his shoulder, thinking about Haley and his move to the FBI.

_Haley smiled up at him, her golden hair seemingly aglow as they lay in the soft grass, her head in his lap. He’d just told her his plan, his need to join the FBI, how he’d been accepted into SWAT._

_“Are you sure this is really what you want, Aaron? It sounds so dangerous.”_

_“Yeah, Hales. I need to do this. I can’t sit back and wait for someone else to do it anymore. I’m a great shot, you know that. Just knowing how many people I can save makes it all worth it.”_

_She leaned up then, placing a soft, warm kiss on his lips before putting her head back in his lap, her hair pooing around her._

_“Okay, Aaron. You know I’ll follow you wherever you need to go.”_

_Aaron smiled at her, his heart full of love._

_“I love you, Haley Brooks. Would you marry me?”_

Spencer smiled at Aaron as they came out of the memory. “You loved her.”

Aaron smiled back before he nodded. “I did. She was all I ever wanted from the moment I saw her.”

“But you said…”

“That you were my soulmate?”

When Spencer nodded, Aaron smiled. “You are but you are not the only one I loved. Haley was my first love but she and I were not meant to be, not like you and I.”

“What happened next?”

“I studied hard at the FBI and quickly travelled up the ranks of SWAT before I was approached by a man named David Rossi to become a part of an elite team known as the BAU. It was a coveted position and I was honored to be chosen. It wasn’t easy, not with Jason Gideon as my mentor. Not long after I joined the team, Dave retired, choosing to spend his time writing about serial killers instead of hunting them.”

Spencer gasped, his eyes wide. “Is that what you did? You caught killers?”

Aaron nodded. “Yes. I learned all about the human mind and what makes some people do the things they do. It wasn’t easy. In fact, sometimes it made me hate my existence even more. But, as Angels, we love humanity, envy you even. Eternity feels daunting once you’ve become mortal.”

The smile splitting Spencer’s face brought one to Aaron’s despite himself. “What?”

“Nothing,” Spencer said before prompting him once again with a gentle, “Continue.”

“Life moved on. I helped save lives and took them when necessary. Haley and I were married and we tried to start a family. After the disaster that I grew up with, I had a deep desire to have a child that I could show all the love to that I had never felt. We had a difficult time and, after her third miscarriage, I wondered if Haley would tell me that was enough.”

“Is it because…”

“Of what I am? Possibly. It is something I never got a answer to in The After.”

They sat in silence for a moment, thinking about the children there might have been until Spencer asked, “So..?”

“So,” Aaron continued, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “I met the most amazing, intelligent, frustrating person in my life.”

Pressing the hand to his arm, he lost himself in the memory.

_Jason had been nearly beside himself with excitement ever since he had come back from CalTech on a recruitment event. Aaron had been happy to let the older profiler go. Jason was better at these types of things, being the more dynamic speaker of the two of them. Aaron had been pleased with his own additions of Derek Morgan as a profiler and Jennifer Jareau as Media Liaison, despite Jason’s assistance that they didn’t need one. But already both new team members had proved to be invaluable. They just needed to fill that one missing piece of the puzzle to make the team great and Jason was sure he’d found it._

_Today was the big day. Dr. Reid was coming for his first day, fresh from graduating from the academy just the week before. Aaron worried about having such a brainiac on the team. He knew some special strings had been pulled to get the man through academy and he just hoped he didn’t expect special treatment here._

_Hearing the sudden commotion, Aaron stood, knowing Jason would start with him since he was Unit Chief before parading his newest acquisition down and around into the bullpen. Before he was able to get to his door, Jason threw it open, bodily escorting a frightened young man into his office._

_“Hotch!” Gideon said warmly, just a little too loud and a little too happy. “I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Spencer Reid, the newest member of the team.”_

_Aaron looked at the timid, scrawny, poorly dressed boy before him. That was the only thing he could call him. He’d read the file and knew that he was only twenty-four but he hadn’t expected him to be so **young**. He honestly wondered if he should bother to get to know the kid since it looked like he’d only last a week, maybe two, before the job swallowed him alive. _

_He stepped forward, hand extended, and tried to put a smile on his face as he approached the young man. “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Reid.”_

_When Spencer physically shrunk away from him he drew away, wondering what had happened to the man to make him so terrified of him._

_“Thank you, Sir,” Spencer said with a small smile and a wave._

_Aaron laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Please, no Sirs around here. Everyone just calls me Hotch.”_

_“Hotch.”_

Aaron shuddered as he came out of the memory. Spencer gasped and ran his hands over himself, checking his body for the differences and similarities between him and the man he’d just seen through Aaron’s mind’s eye.

“That was me,” he gasped, “Sort of.”

Aaron nodded. He was so similar - the same coloring, same eyes, same voice. The hair was different and his Spencer had been taller but it was him, without a doubt.

“I guess that’s why you keep calling me Spencer instead of Reed. Only Gomez does that.”

“You’ll always be Spencer to me.”

When the young man looked at him, he wanted to shrink away from the piercing gaze. Spencer always knew how to see into his soul.

“How long?”

“What?” Aaron asked, confused by the question.

“How long have you been looking for me?”

He sighed, dropping his eyes. “More years than I care to remember. I’ve looked for you in every lifetime in every place I’ve been since you passed. When I saw you today, I knew I couldn’t let you go.”

Spencer smiled and Aaron wondered what he had ever done that gave him this moment, right here, right now. He ached to lean forward, to kiss the life out of the man before him but he knew now was not the time.

“Did you know then?”

Aaron chuckled. “No, it would be years before I discovered what we were to each other, but I always knew there was something about you, that I had to protect you. I’ve never stopped wanted to protect and care for you.”

“Tell me,” he whispered, his hazel eyes boring into deep, warm chocolate. “Tell me our story.”

Aaron smiled as he began to remember their time together. He told Spencer about how Haley had finally gotten pregnant and carried to term. His joy at becoming a father made Spencer smile and he teared up at the remembrance of it. They re-lived the comradery of Elle joining the team and then the pain of her loss. Spencer gasped as he watched his first kill and his first kiss.

When Aaron hesitated in his story, Spencer asked, “What are you holding back from me, Aaron?”

“Your first death.”

_Aaron stood and watched the screen as Spencer convulsed on the floor. He hated this, hated knowing that one of his own was so close to The After. He’d seen it so many times, when someone was so close to death. His heart ached knowing that he about to lose a team member this way._

_He nearly gasped as he saw his brother appear on the screen, standing next to Spencer’s head. Aaron slipped out of the cramped house, using his compromised emotional state as a cover before closing his eyes and calling upon his Grace._

_“Morothiel,” he whispered, “Please wait.”_

_“Amaranthiel, Brother. I’m sorry but it is his time.”_

_“It’s not!” He cried, shouting out into the night. “Not him, please. Give him time.”_

_Aaron stood still, frozen in his horror and grief until he heard whispered in his mind’s eye, Morothiel was in shock - “Hankel’s coming back. You are lucky this time, Brother.”_

_“Hotch!” He heard Jason yell from inside the house. “Hotch, get in here! Hankel is back!”_

_He’d never moved so fast in his life. As he stood before the monitors, he locked eyes with the Angel of Death standing over his friend. When Spencer began to gasp after receiving CPR, the Angel nodded to his Brother, a look he couldn’t identify on his face, and then he was gone._

“That was when I knew that even though I was no longer an Angel, I still had my Grace and my ability to lead others into The After or trap them for eternity.”

“Is that what you did?”

Aaron sighed, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “It is what I attempted to do.”

“Attempted?”

“I was not always successful. We lost people, good people because I didn’t pay attention or was distracted by other things, by being human and focusing on trivial things. I became obsessed with the job, hunting and capturing the ones who crossed my path. Finally it became too much and Haley left me, taking our son Jack with her. It was a bad time for me.”

“She took your son?”

He nodded softly, still stinging from that pain centuries later. “She did. She’d been having affairs for ages, something that I had purposefully ignored. I loved her. I thought she was it for me and when she left, I threw myself into my work all the more.”

“You knew,” Spencer whispered. “You knew about what life was like after death and yet you continued to work a job? How does that make sense?”

“I knew the work I was doing was good work. We were saving lives, catching killers. It was the good fight and I couldn’t step away from that, despite what Haley did. Beside, I occasionally got the chance to help someone, to give them some peace as they waited to crossover.”

“You helped people?”

“When I could.” Aaron sighed and pressed his Spencer’s hand to his shoulder.

_He watched as she shivered, shuddering in the remnants of pain. He was sure she was not feeling any pain, not with the amount of painkillers the hospital staff was most liking pumping into her system. But it was most likely the shock that was causing her form to continue to tremble in unnoticeable agony._

_She asked of her husband and son, wanting them and not wanting them at the same time. Aaron’s heart ached for her, knowing how painful that revelation would be. He knew what was coming, who was coming. He’d seen it so many times before the familiarity was almost an ache._

_When Prentiss spoke up, almost telling her the truth, he stopped her, kept her from destroying this woman’s whole world. He knew that he had to stay, had to comfort her. This is what he was meant to do._

_Once Emily was gone, Aaron settled in and took her hand in his own. When she looked at him, it was as if she was lost in his eyes, the pain forgotten, the world melted away._

_“Will it hurt?” She whispered._

_“No,” Aaron answered softly, a gentle smile on his face.”It will be warm and you’ll be bathed in light. You will be carried away by one of us.”_

_“Us?”_

_“Angels.”_

_Her smile was beautiful, bright and brilliant as she looked over his shoulder. “He looks like you.”_

_Aaron turned and looked behind him. There stood another of his Brothers, Norantheil. When Aaron looked back at her, he winked._

_“Maybe a little”_

_She giggled then - a small quiet thing - before she frowned, her eyebrows scrunching together as the pain medication began to wear off. Aaron squeezed her hand even tighter._

_“Are you ready to go? I’m sure my Brother can take you to your husband and son.”_

_“Yes,” she gasped. “I’d like that. What do I have to do?”_

_“All you have to do is let go.”_

_She looked at him one last time, taking one last deep breath before she let it out and all the life slipped out of her. He watched as she stood from the bed and walked toward Noranthiel. She was whole, complete, no burns, no scars. As she took his hand, she looked back at Aaron and smiled once more before they were just...gone._

_Aaron smiled as he looked back at the body in the bed, the empty shell of the victim he had just comforted into The After. It felt good to do this, do this work again. He reached up, closing her lifeless eyes before standing slowly._

_He had other work to do._

“You helped her.”

“In the only way I knew how.”

They sat, silent and still, fingers tangled together. It was a safe, familiar feeling. Aaron’s heart hurt with the simplicity of it. He ran his thumb softly over the top of Spencer’s hand, tracing every vein and knuckle.

When Spencer smiled at him, he couldn’t help but ask, “What?”

“You.” Spencer said with a small smile. “All of this. It’s crazy. It’s insanity. I know this has to be a dream, has to be some sort of fevered hallucination, but I want it. I want it to be real so much. I want to believe and every time I start to, I wonder why it is all so unreal and yet so familiar all at the same time.”

Aaron couldn’t help but chuckle. “I know the feeling. It’s like it was then. It was all so familiar even though it was so different. We are bound together, you and I, just like myself and my calling.”

“That wasn’t the only time you helped someone crossover, was it?”

“No,” Aaron sighed as the memory came to him unbidden. “No it was not.”

_She was a killer. A killer, yes, but a tainted soul? No. She had been hurt. Her pain had turned her to murder. That he could understand. Humanity did awful things to each other and he could empathize with her pain._

_He had seen her before, in the elevator. Something had pressed at him then, telling him that there was something about her but he had ignored it. He needed to trust his instincts and not discount the subtle pulls on his Grace._

_He took her hand in his, staring into her eyes as the poison ran its course. The pain, the sorrow in her eyes made his heart clench in sympathy._

_“They'll just go back to doing whatever they want,” she gasped, “And keep getting away with it.”_

_He squeezed her hand tighter, making a promise. “Not if I have anything to do with it.”_

_She smiled weakly at him. “Who was it who said, ’You don't pay a prostitute for sex, you pay her to leave afterwards?’”_

_“It was Dashiell Hammett.”_

_She was slipping away, he could feel it. One of his Brothers would soon be here._

_“It doesn't make sense. The men always leave first.”_

_Her smile was forced, small, but he felt a glimmer of peace in her as she whispered, “I'd give anything to see his face right now.”_

_He smiled back as his Brother appeared, seemingly unsurprised to see Aaron sitting there, comforting the dying woman. Before she breathed her last breath, she asked, “How could your wife have ever left someone like you?”_

_As he watched her fade away, he wondered the same thing himself._

Spencer squeezed Aaron’s hand, pulling him back to the present.

”It hurt you.” It was both a question and a statement and all Aaron could do was nod. “Every time you helped someone, you felt their pain, their fear of dying and yet you continued to do it. Why?”

“It is what I was meant to do.”

“Did you only help those that needed to cross over peaceful? You said sometimes you had to capture tainted souls.”

Aaron shuddered at the thoughts that pulled at his mind, the memories coming unbidden as he pulled Spencer into one of the worst times of his life.

_Boston. He really hated Boston. The first time he had been on this case, he recognized the feeling of that soul. It was a darkness he had been chasing for centuries -  an ancient evil that had been birthed and reborn and killed over and over again. He’d been unable to find him and stop him and every incarnation of this evil only got stronger and smarter._

_The call had been so familiar it sent shivers up his spine. Evil calling him, offering him a deal. But Aaron would make no deals. He wanted this evil gone._

_When they first met with George Foyet, he felt something, something that he couldn’t understand. He was sick and joyous all at the same time. As if his body didn’t understand the emotions swirling all around him. Once he put it all together - George Foyet was The Reaper - he knew. That was the soul he’d been searching for, hunting for so very long, and when he escaped from jail, Aaron knew they wouldn’t find him._

_No. The Reaper would come for him._

“He did, didn’t he?”

“Of course.”

_Canada. Add another place to the list of horrific places in his memories. So many souls lost needlessly, treated as garbage, lost to this world at the hands of a simple man guided by a tainted soul._

_Evil, it seemed, continued to grow and evolve. It made Aaron afraid for the work he would return to when his life was over._

_He worried about his team, the people he had come to think of as his family, his human family. He wondered if they could come back from something like this, if he could._

_When he entered his apartment, all he could think about was ridding himself of that taint, of plying himself with enough alcohol that he would forget the horrors that man could commit, if only for a little while. He felt that taint and horror still hanging over him so heavily, that he discounted the darkness that filled his home. Too late, it overcame him, and when he turned to see The Reaper staring at him, he knew his time had come._

_The shot that had rung out, so close to his damaged ear, threw him. He expected The Reaper to finish him quickly but that was not meant to be._

_Pulling on his Grace, Aaron lashed out, throwing his glass, hoping to distract Foyet enough to give him an advantage, but The Reaper had rattled him with the gunshot and he was quickly overpowered. Lying beneath the tainted soul, he gasped at the pain of the knife parting his skin, sinking into his body. He could feel the taint of the soul pressing against him, could taste the darkness of him._

_The Reaper smiled in recognition, happy to have a soul full of Grace at his mercy. The knife pressed in, sending pain throughout his body, the darkness surrounding him, enveloping him, choking him. The black eyes stared down at him, glimmering with unrepentant glee and malice, as the pain finally pulled him under._

Spencer shouted, gasping as he jerked back and away from Amaranthiel, his head banging against the small headboard of the bed. His eyes were wide and wild as he began to run his hands over his body, checking for wounds, looking for blood.

Aaron waited until Spencer had calmed before holding his hands out toward the frightened man. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized quietly, reaching deep into his Grace and sending comfort and peace toward Spencer. “Some of the memories are hard to control. Those with The Reaper are some of them.”

“How…?” Spencer started once he was able to speak, “How did you survive?”

“He took me to the hospital.”

“What?! Why?”

“He was not done torturing me. He knew what I was and the more he could taint me, taunt me, the happier he would be.”

“What happened?”

“Once I woke up, they sent Jack and Haley away. They went into Protective Custody, hidden away from The Reaper. I knew that the way he would torture me was by killing the ones that I loved. By taking my love, he would take my life.”

“Did he?”

“Yes. I became obsessed with finding him. I was reckless and didn’t care about myself. I put everyone in danger, even you.”

“Did...did you lose anyone?”

Aaron closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm his fried nerves and swirling emotions.

“Yes.”

_He threw the phone onto the dash as he raced to the house. He knew he was going to be too late. The Reaper was going to take what he wanted whether Aaron liked it or not. He knew he’d find death when he arrived. Whose death, he didn’t know._

_He quickly made his way through every room, quickly checking every corner,every shadow, clearing every room, looking for the evil that would take away all he wanted to protect. When he made his way upstairs to what used to be his bedroom, he froze at the sight of his only love on the floor - lifeless and cold, her face frozen in death. His heart clenched at the sight of her lying dead on the floor of the house they had shared - her blood coloring the floor._

_He knew The Reaper was there, waiting for him. The rotted soul would not want to be too far away, would want to see the pain he’d inflicted upon Aaron. The fight was brutal, blood was shed and bones were broken. He had to stop this monster, had to end his terror and hold him until one of his Brothers could come and claim the tainted soul._

_He sat atop the man, his fists flying. He hit him again and again and again. He felt the bones crack, the blood squish between his fingers as he beat the life out of the man that had killed his only love. He grabbed him and pounded him into the floor, holding onto the soul until finally his Brother appeared and bound him, capturing The Reaper and dragging him away to the Other World._

_When Morgan pulled him off the lifeless body of George Foyet, all he could think about was his son. Jack. Jack was somewhere, waiting for him. He darted up the stairs, searching for the young boy. He threw open the window seat, surprised to see the boy waiting for him._

_“I worked the case with you, Dad.”_

_He quickly grabbed the boy, pulling him out of his hiding place and clutching him tight. He had lost his wife but had saved his son and trapped a tainted soul._

_And in the process, he may have lost his humanity forever._

_He rushed back to Haley’s body, falling to his knees and clutching her close to his chest. Her soul was gone, already passed on and all he could do was hope and pray that one of his Brothers had come for her and helped her into The After when he could not._

_He had failed her in end, just as she always said he would._

“She was alone,” he whispered. “I tried to protect her and she was alone when she had to cross over into The After. I should have been with her. By being a part of my life, I condemned her to death.

“Aaron,” Spencer whispered, leaning forward and laying his hand upon his forearm, grounding him and bringing him back to the present. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“It wasn’t just me who lost people.”

“What..? What do you mean?”

“You had a love too. Someone other than me. You felt loss too.”

“Show me?”

“Are you sure?”

“Please?”

_He hadn’t been surprised when he saw Maeve. Much like Spencer, she was special. He waited - waited to take the shot, to save the woman that Spencer loved. As he looked on in horror, he was surprised to see the Unsub bring the gun up to end the lives of both women._

_He looked past the man weeping on the floor. Spencer cried, his tears streaming down his face as he choked on his grief. Aaron looked up, softly smiling at his Brothers. One cradled Maeve in his arms, comforting her quietly while the other restrained Diana, keeping her from escaping into the next life._

_Before they faded away, Maeve looked at him, her eyes warm and open._

_“Take care of him,” she whispered._

_Aaron nodded, silently making his promise. “Always.”_

“You knew then?”

Aaron smiled, knowing what he wished to say, but it was not the truth. “No...and yes. In a way I knew but it would be many years until I could admit it, even to myself.”

Spencer smiled at him. “What do you mean?”

“Souls gravitate toward one another. I’ve seen it time and again. Those that are friends find each other in different lifetimes. Loves are rekindled because even if the bodies are different, the souls are still the same. Gender, age, skin color - none of that matters. What a person is on the inside it what draws them together. From the moment I grabbed you in that graveyard after your first death, my soul was drawn to yours. I would have done anything to save you, to have you with me. And I did. And of that, I am ashamed.”

“What did you do?”

“I died.”

_Seeing Haley again had been so wonderful. Amaranthiel had not lied when he said he still loved her. A part of him would always love her for what she was - his first love and mother of his beloved child. But seeing The Reaper turned his stomach, knowing that he and Haley were now bound together in The After and possibly into The Next upset Amaranthiel more than he could say. He had done that - brought them together - and he would have to live with that knowledge forever. He could only hope that The Reaper would get what he deserved in the end._

_When he slipped back into the car, the driver, disguised as his friend David Rossi, turned to regard him before slowly turning back around and driving away into the night._

_“Now Amaranthiel,” he said, his voice deeper than humanly possible, filling the cabin of the vehicle with the sound, “You have a decision to make. Will you stay in the land of men or will you be coming home?”_

_Of course he was here - The One was giving him a choice._

_Amaranthiel sighed. Was he done? Was he ready to give up on the coil of humanity and return to where he rightly belonged? Was he finally sick of the awfulness of men, who hate and fight and kill?_

_Then he remembered all the good he had seen. People helping other people. He remembered Jack and the joy he felt when he clutched his son to his chest or read him a story at night. He remembered late nights at Dave’s, eating and drinking and smoking expensive cigars. He remembered laughing with Garcia in her lair and outings to the zoo with JJ, Will and Henry, or running with Morgan for some friendly competition and lazy weekends. And he remembered Spencer. Smart, loyal, trusting Spencer who would show up unannounced with a science experiment for Jack or takeout for them, just because. Spencer who gave so much of himself, always making himself available despite the fact that he didn’t need to, he needed to take care of himself and yet always put others first._

_Amaranthiel smiled to himself thinking about the young genius. He knew his answer as he looked up into the endless depths of the eyes staring at him in the rearview mirror._

_“I wish to go back.”_

_“Back to your genius?”_

_Amaranthiel smiled, a warm blush covered his cheeks._

_“He’s not my genius.”_

_“But he is what you were thinking of when you made your decision, was he not?”_

_The angel could only nod, unable to tear his eyes away from those regarding him so intently._

_“And what of Beth?”_

_Amaranthiel gasped. What of her? He hadn’t thought of her at all when he was making his decision. What did that mean?_

_“Maybe it means you need to evaluate where your happiness truly lies.”_

_He was just getting ready to open his mouth to reply when suddenly he blinked and found himself lying in a hospital bed, Garcia seated before him. He was back. Now he had to decide what to do._

“Was that..? Was that God?”

Aaron chuckled as he shook his head. “The One is not God in the sense that you can understand it. The human brain does not currently have the capacity to understand what we are and what we do. But he is the one that sent me to earth, gave me the life that I had and helped me make the decision to return.”

“You came back for us.”

“I came back for you. I just didn’t know it at the time.”

“What happened?”

“Life went on as it always had. We continued to do what we did best - hunting those that would do others harm. I fought with myself, trying to decide what to do about you, about my life. Despite all I knew, all I’d been through, I was still afraid. Afraid of you, what you would say, what others would say.”

“But something changed that.”

“Yes.”

_Aaron was pacing up and down the alley behind the Sheriff’s Department, shouting out into the night. The firefight had been brutal and they had lost too much already. This case was awful and ugly but Aaron was only focused on one thing. Spencer._

_“Bonethiel!” he shouted out into the night. “Bonethiel!”_

_The angel that materialized behind him sighed, drawing his attention. Aaron spun around before launching himself at his brother, grabbing him by his shoulders and slamming him against the rough brick wall._

_“Is he alive?!”_

_“Who, Brother?”_

_“Spencer Reid. Is he alive?!”_

_Bonethiel sighed, dropping his eyes from his brother’s gaze. “He is - for now.”_

_“You must save him. Please. For me.”_

_“Amaranthiel. It is his time.”_

_Aaron choked back a sob, his emotions overwhelming him. “It’s not. It can’t be. I need him to know how I feel. I **need** him._

_The angel looked up, staring into Aaron’s soul. “Are you asking me to do what I think you are?”_

_Was he? Was Aaron really asking for this?_

_“Yes. I am asking for you to save him. I’m begging you, Brother. Please.”_

_“You know that you must lose someone else. Death needs its balance. Are you willing to give up someone else you love for him?”_

_Aaron froze. Could he trade someone for Spencer? He had to know if they had a chance, had to know if Spencer could love him, if they could make a life together._

_“Not Jack?”_

_Bonethiel considered for a moment. “Not your son. He has much left to do in this world. But you must lose another. Can you do that?”_

_“For Spencer? Yes.”_

“You were willing to sacrifice someone for me?”

“I was willing to sacrifice just about anything for you.”

They stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other. Spencer smiled softly. Aaron gasped at the love he saw hidden in the depths of the so familiar hazel eyes.

“The story is not over.”

The smile fell from Spencer’s face. “Who did we lose?”

“Someone we both loved.”

_He stood outside the cabin, elbow to elbow with his best friend. As soon as they had entered, Aaron had seen his Brother in the corner waiting for him. Bonethiel had stared him down, letting him know that this was his doing, this was the price that was to be paid for Aaron’s choice to save Spencer._

_He’d seen the devastation on the younger man’s face, he knew that Spencer had remained in contact with Gideon. They had a bond that he couldn’t understand, would never be able to replace. This loss, losing Jason again, could break Spencer, and that was not what he’d wanted. The guilt settled in the pit of his stomach but he knew, if he had to, he’d make the same choice again and again._

_They told stories, laughing and smiling at the joy and pain of it. He watched as Spencer said goodbye to Steven, knowing they shared a pain, a loss that neither may get over._

_He wanted to comfort him, wanted to say how sorry he was for taking Gideon away. He hoped Jason had passed peacefully, that his Brother had been there to comfort him as he passed on to The After. But now he needed to comfort Spencer._

_Aaron wanted to hold him close, to help him through the pain. He would find a way to help - he would._

“Is that when we fell in love?”

Aaron nodded slowly. “That was when it started, yes. After the loss of Gideon, I started to invite you over more, ask you out for dinner. Things moved slowly but always in a positive direction. I wanted things to move faster but it was difficult because I wanted to be your friend as much as I was your lover. Plus the stigma of our relationship was a concern.”

“Stigma?”

“Yes. Back then it was still a big deal for two men to be in a relationship.”

Spencer scoffed, his face a mask of shock. “But sex same marriage would have been legal by then, right?”

Aaron chuckled. “Just because it was legal does not make it accepted. Besides, I was your boss. There were rules about that.”

“What did you do?”

“I stopped caring about what the establishment thought and found a way to make things work.”

“How?”

_Aaron sat across the desk from Mateo Cruz, staring down his superior._

_“Aaron. You know I have to advise you against this.”_

_“I know,” he said, his face never changing. “Hell, if I were in your shoes, I’m sure I would be doing the same thing. But I also know that this ‘No fraternization rule” is bullshit. I can easily pass Spencer’s evaluations and disciplinary actions off to Rossi so no one can say there is any favoritism.”_

_“It’s just a bad idea. What would the brass say about it?”_

_“I think the brass would say leave them alone, Cruz.”_

_Both men turned to see the AD walk through the door, Spencer right on his heels._

_“Sir?” Mateo said, confused._

_“I just had a little chat with Dr. Reid and it appears he and Agent Hotchner have been spending a lot of free time together over the last few months since the passing of Jason Gideon and even started dating not too long ago.”_

_Aaron looked at Spencer and sent out a silent question with a raise of a single eyebrow. Spencer simply winked back in return._

_“As you can see, their relationship has not affected their work performance in the slightest. Let Rossi take over Dr. Reid’s evals and be done with this. If anything changes and it does begin affect the team, then we can revisit this.” The AD then turned to look at Spencer. “Anything else?”_

_Spencer shook his head. “No. I think that’s all, thank you Sir.”_

_John simply snorted as he gave Aaron one last pointed look before turning and walking away._

_“Alright,” Cruz conceded, his hands raised in the air. “I won’t say anything but if you two get out of hand, I will shut you down.”_

_“Thank you,” Aaron said as he stood and quickly shook the other man’s hand before walking over to Spencer who was still standing in the doorway. “My office,” he nearly growled, his voice pitched low._

_Once they made it to Aaron’s office, the older man closed the door and locked it before grabbing Spencer by his shoulders and pressing him into the solid wood._

_“What was that?” he asked, a small smile on his face._

_“Let’s just say I was calling in a favor.”_

_“The Assistant Director of the FBI owed you a big enough favor that he stood up to a Section Chief in defence of our non-sanctioned relationship?”_

_“Well,” Spencer said with a shrug, “Yeah.”_

_“And you just happened to know that I was going to be talking to Matt today.”_

_“I **may** have overheard you talking to Rossi yesterday.”_

_“And dating? When did we start dating?”_

_“Seventeen days ago.”_

_Aaron’s eyebrows rose toward his hairline. “Seventeen days ago? What was seventeen days ago.”_

_Spencer’s smile was mischievous and wild and Aaron knew he was in trouble. “We were getting ready to leave Barbados and you leaned over and made a comment about how we should come back some time for fun, just us. And as soon as we got back, you insisted on taking me in your car to the team dinner. If I’m not mistaken, you even paid for me. Sounds like dating to me.”_

_Aaron chuckled. He’d worked himself up so much about this meeting, making sure everything was perfect before he ever brought the idea up to Spencer when it turned out the other man really knew all along._

_“Sounds like it,” Aaron admitted. “We’re just missing one thing.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_Aaron smirked, a predatory thing as he stalked forward, crowding the slighter man against his office door. Slowly, he raised his hands, cupping the strong jaw as he traced the sharp cheekbones with his thumbs. “This,” he whispered as he leaned in just barely brushing his lips against Spencer’s. The other man gasped at the sensation and Aaron quickly took advantage, slipping his tongue out to trace the now open seam. The taste of coffee and sugar burst over his tongue and he barely held back the groan at the knowledge that this was only the beginning._

_When he pulled away, he was surprised to see the wrecked look on the young genius’s face._

_“Now we can say we’re dating.”_

_Spencer just laughed, falling into his arms for more kisses and Aaron happily obliged._

“Wow,” Spencer whispered as he came out of the memory.”You’re a good kisser.”

Amaranthiel only chuckled. “I was. Would you like to see if I still am?”

Spencer looked around in shock. “Do we have time?”

Turning toward the window, Amaranthiel closed his eyes and reached out for the sun. “It is nearly an hour until sunrise and our tale is nearly over. I believe we have time for one kiss.”

“Okay.”

Aaron shifted on the bed, sliding closer to the young man. Repeating the action from the memory, he reached up, cupping Spencer’s face in his hands. It was so familiar, so right that it made his heart ache and soul fly. He pulled the other man to him, brushing his nose with his own before diving in, needing this like a man in the desert longs for water. He tried to not frighten the genius with his desperation but his need was pouring out of him and he could not stop the memories as they came unbidden, one after the other. Spencer’s hands were roaming his skin, touching him, learning him as they relived their lives together.

_First, Spencer was lying beneath him, his legs open, knees pressed to his chest as he offered himself to the older man._

_“Please, Aaron. Jesus, I’m ready. I’m not made out of glass.”_

_Sinking inside his love, Aaron groaned at the feeling of wet and tight and heat and love. He pulled back before sinking inside again, burying himself inside the man beneath him as Spencer arched and mewled and took his cock like he was made for it._

_Then Aaron was on the bed on his hands and knees, his back arching as he thrust back, trying to get more and more and more of the tongue that was licking around before dipping inside his open, slick hole. Spencer had begged to do this and even though Aaron had initially balked at allowing it, now he wondered how he’d never done this before. Every lick, every touch to his hole and balls was sending him closer and closer to his end. But he didn’t want it to end like this._

_“Christ, Spencer. Fuck me, please.”_

_Spencer pulled away, giving one last lick up his crack before roughly scraping his teeth over the upturned cheeks. Draping himself over Aaron’s back, Spencer repeated the action of dragging his teeth over Aaron’s straining neck._

_“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he whispered before pressing forward, breeching him slowly and steadily._

_Scene after scene of kissing and stroking and sucking and loving. Spencer on his knees, Aaron’s cock sinking into his throat. Aaron lounging in his favorite chair, Spencer riding him while stroking himself to completion. Aaron in the shower, his hands pressed against the wall with Spencer pounding into him, slipping and sliding as the hot water poured over them both._

_Every memory was hot and tempting, but full of love and trust. They shared it all - heart, body and soul - and every time they came together, every time they came - it only made their connection stronger._

They pulled apart, both of them panting hard as they ached for each other. Spencer’s eyes were wide as he looked at the man watching him so intently.

“Was it always like that?”

Aaron chuckled. “I’d like to think so but you have to know it wasn’t, not always. I cling to these memories. Remembering those times with you carried me through many lifetimes searching for you, waiting to find you again.”

“Is that all there is to our story?”

“We are almost to the end,” Aaron whispered. “If I tell it all you may not have much time to decide.”

“I need to know.”

“Very well. Things were good for a time. We were together, building our relationship and our love. You were becoming a part of our family. Jack loved you and we were considering moving you into our home.”

“But something happened.”

“Yes.” Aaron closed his eyes against the memory. “Another tainted soul found me.”

_The spray hit his face and he did his best to not inhale. He knew his team would look for him, Spencer would look for him, but he needed to survive, needed to stay alive and keep his head until they got there. He found some water and splashed it across his face, hoping to at least dilute the drug before it got into his system. Even that was not enough and Mr. Scratch dosed him again._

_Aaron sat on the floor disoriented and confused, his mind unable to keep up with the stimuli invading his brain. When Mr. Scratch knelt down and got in his face, demanding to know what scared him, Aaron fought to keep him from knowing about Spencer and his biggest fear of losing his love again._

_When his team entered the house, he prayed his Brothers would stay away, that they would not take any of them away. He heard a shot and held his breath as he waited. He saw no angels, felt no Grace around him but he heard JJ shout out, “Spence is down!”_

_He gasped and looked around in terror, wondering what had happened to his love. He’d lost his Love again! His mind raced and he thought of all the things he could do to this man, to this monster. He would drag away into The Other, see him locked away even if Amaranthiel had to personally guard him for the rest of eternity. He would see him tortured and revel in it. He looked around for his Brothers, wondering which ones would come for his lover, for his team. He wondered which one would carry him over since he would not want to live without Spencer by his side. But there were no angels, no Grace in this house but his own._

_Suddenly he knew - this was not real. This was a creation of Mr. Scratch. If his team was down, if his Spencer was gone, his Brothers would be here to carry them away, to stop this tainted soul._

_“I’m coming through the door,” Mr. Scratch whispered roughly in his ear, spurring him on. “Kill me.”_

_He gripped the knife and knew he couldn’t do it, couldn’t stop him this way._

_“I need my gun,” he gasped, hoping his ruse would work._

_“Here I come.”_

_Aaron waited, took one breath and then another before turning quickly and firing in the direction he hoped the monster was hiding. When Dave rushed toward him, he held out the gun, not trusting himself and his scrambled thoughts._

_“Take it,” he pled, his heart beating wildly and mind spinning. “Take it!”_

_He was afraid of his own thoughts, worried that maybe this life, this place was tainting his own soul. Once he was outside, he saw the monster that had messed with his mind, had made him doubt his own soul. Scratch smiled at him and Aaron knew that would not be the last time he would see that evil._

“Monsters seemed to find you,” Spencer whispered.

Aaron nodded. “They are drawn to my Grace. I should not have been surprised and yet I was. Just like The Reaper, Mr. Scratch escaped and did his best to torture me, torture us. But this time, he did the one thing I could not ignore.”

“He went after Jack, didn’t he?”

“Yes. When I thought he was after you, I was worried but you know how to take care of yourself. But Jack was a child and I could not let that stand.”

“What happened?”

“They wanted to send us away just like they had done with Jack and Haley when The Reaper was after us. Protective Custody was not ideal but I couldn’t let another happen to my child. There was only one problem.”

“They wouldn’t let me go with you, would they?”

Aaron shook his head. His eyes dropped to his lap in shame. “They wanted me to run but they didn’t want to lose two members of the team. We were practically living together but they didn’t consider us to be family. They told me I’d have to leave without you.”

“What did you do?”

Aaron’s eyes sparkled with mirth. “I married you.”

Spencer smiled back, his eyes sparkling with the remembered love.

“You married me just so you wouldn’t have to leave me behind?”

“I married you because I loved you. I wanted to, had wanted to for a while and I was a little sad that we couldn’t do it right. It was rushed so I wouldn’t have to leave you behind.”

Aaron looked down, surprised when Spencer’s fingers tangled with his own. “If it was us, then it was right.”

They smiled at each other, fingers tangled, thumbs tracing intricate patterns across knuckles.

“Were we happy?”

“Yes...and no. Protective Custody was not easy on any of us. Jack hated being locked away again, away from his family and friends. You hated being away from the team and your mother. I hated hiding, running away from a monster instead of fighting it. But we made a life for ourselves on the other side of the country. While we were hidden away, we lost people. Your mother passed as did Jack’s grandfather. But by the time Mr. Scratch was dead, we were happy and settled. As a family, we decided to stay and continue with the life we’d built together.”

“How long did we have?”

Aaron sighed. He didn’t want to tell this part of the tale. “Nearly thirty years of love and happiness. Jack got married and had a child of his own - a beautiful little girl named Alyssa. You called her Aly and she adored you. You went into academia and I started writing. I wasn’t nearly as popular as Dave but it gave us a comfortable life. I began working at hospitals, volunteering in the hospice wards.”

Spencer ran his fingers over Amaranthiel’s troubled features. “You just couldn’t stay away, could you?”

Aaron shook his head. It was who he was.

“I died before you, didn’t I?”

Aaron’s head shot up, shocked at the question. He couldn’t answer, couldn’t go through that again. He gasped when Spencer’s slapped his hand to his shoulder, pulling the memory from him.

_Spencer lay in the middle of their bed, gasping for breath. The damage to his lungs from the Anthrax case rearing its ugly head at the end of his life. The cancer had spread, been invasive, and there was no way to stop it._

_Aaron wished, not for the first time that he had insisted on getting Spencer to the doctor sooner, have him checked out when his cough refused to go away. They never even thought that the treatment they’d used to cure Spencer of Anthrax would come back to haunt them years later._

_They’d already said their goodbyes, hosting a constant stream of people who wanted to say one last thing before Spencer slipped off into The After. But still, Aaron wasn’t ready to let go._

_He’d already yelled and railed against this, begged and pled for his soulmate’s life but there was no fighting it this time. He could not save Spencer this time._

_Reaching out, Spencer gripped his fingers tight, his eyes clear of pain for the first time in weeks._

_“Aaron,” he whispered around the mask pumping oxygen into his damaged lungs. “Take this off me.”_

_“No, Love. You need that.”_

_“Not anymore.”_

_Slowly, he pulled the mask up and off, looking down into the face he loved, would always love._

_“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “I will always love you.”_

_“From this life and into the next,” Aaron completed. It was something they said to each other every night since their wedding night and it was a promise that Aaron intended to keep._

_Suddenly, Spencer looked over his shoulder before he smiled softly. “He looks kinda like you.”_

_Aaron’s head whipped around. He was not surprised to see his Brother, Morothiel behind him. He looked back at Spencer with a small smile even as the tears began to stream down his face. “Maybe a little.”_

_“It’s time.”_

_He turned to glare at Morothiel, hoping to hold him off for a time._

_“Not yet. Please. Just a few minutes more.”_

_“Look at him.”_

_Aaron did as he was commanded. He could see Spencer’s body trembling in pain, the irregular rise and fall of his chest as he fought to breathe, to keep living for Aaron. He saw the sallow skin and the dark circles under his eyes. All of his existence was to help others crossover in The After peacefully, to bring them over bathed in warmth and love and he was denying his true love that very thing. Leaning forward, he gently kissed the lips he loved so before laying his head on the heaving chest._

_“Okay,” he whispered, holding back the sobs catching in his throat. “Okay.”_

_“Aaron,” he heard called, and when he lifted his head, he saw Spencer standing next to his Brother. The sobs would not be held at bay any longer and Aaron wept. Spencer looked perfect - whole and complete, skin and hair shining and his eyes free of pain and smiling with joy._

_“Take me too,” Aaron whispered._

_“No, Aaron,” Spencer said with a smile. “You have to stay. You have work yet to do.”_

_“NO! I’m done. I’m tired of living this life and I won’t do it without you.”_

_“What about Jack?”_

_“Jack is grown and Aly is old enough to remember us. I can’t. I won’t. Don’t make me. Please don’t make me.”_

_Aaron curled up into a small ball, clutching the lifeless body to himself as he poured out the pain in his heart. Finally, he felt a touch to his shoulder and his mark flared with pain and light._

_“Come then, Brother,” Morothiel said, taking his hand and pulling him from the bed. Aaron looked down at the two bodies intertwined, still holding each other in death. He looked at Spencer, the younger man’s eyes wide with shock with the knowledge that Aaron had died of a broken heart. He stretched, pleased at the feeling of his wings behind him, something he hadn’t felt in much too long._

_“Find me,” Spencer begged as Morothiel grabbed his hand and began to pull him away. “Find me, Aaron.”_

_“Spencer!” Aaron shouted before everything went black._

“They will come for us again, won’t they?”

Aaron nodded. He felt a pull at his Grace. “We must hurry. The sun is about to rise and my Brothers will know I am here.”

“What will happen if they find us?”

“They will take you away into the After and they will hide me away so I can’t find you,” Aaron said as he stood and began to pace around the small room. “This is the first time I’ve been able to see you, talk to you. Every other time I’ve gotten close, they pulled me away, hid you from me. But now, there is so much death, so many souls that need to be caught and restrained, they couldn’t keep me away. We must hurry for in the sun’s glow, they will know what I’ve done. You must decide - right now.”

“If I say no?”

“I will touch you and steal the memories away. Any that remain will feel just like a dream. You will continue to live your life as it has been.”

“And you?”

“I’ll be punished.”

“Where will we go?”

Aaron smiled. Spencer was thinking about it - really thinking about it.

“I’ll need something sharp.”

Confusion colored Spencer’s features but he nodded. “I have equipment at the warehouse.” He stood from the bed, dressed only in his sleep pants. Aaron sighed, wishing they had time for more. “I’ll change.”

The joy that leapt in his soul changed Aaron’s countenance. He was light and free, nearly glowing with the love he felt. He darted forward, grabbing Spencer’s face and kissing him passionately. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead to his love’s. “Hurry.”

Spencer quickly pulled on his clothes, draping himself in a warm coat to fight off the morning chill. Just before they left the apartment, Aaron transformed, standing to his full height and expanding his wings.

“Wow,” Spencer whispered. “You’re really impressive.”

Amaranthiel smiled. “Thank you. But now you must go. I will follow and make sure that no one follows.”

“You know where to go?”

Amaranthiel nodded before following the younger man into the early morning haze. He stood back, watching as Spencer gave him one last look over his shoulder and disappeared around the corner. Amaranthiel closed his eyes before lifting his face to the sky. This could be the last time he would ever fly, would ever feel his wings lifting him up and into the air, giving him the joy and freedom he’d known through his entire existence. He took off, choking into the haze as he made his way toward the warehouse. He looked around, waiting for the resistance he knew would be coming. The One didn’t like to have their existence revealed, didn’t like to lose an angel. He felt the pull on his Grace. The One was calling him home.

They knew.

He ignored the call, continuing to fly toward his love. As he approached the warehouse, he heard his name called, low and loud.

“Amaranthiel! What are you doing?”

He turned, hovering over the large building below. Glancing down, he noticed his young love as he slipped into the warehouse. He smiled, knowing that just below him, his Love was waiting for him.

“Morothiel,” Aaron greeted. “I should have known it would be you.”

“From the first moment that you begged for that boy’s life in that awful shack in Georgia I knew that you were lost to him.”

“It is love, Morothiel.”

“It is madness! You are an Angel of Death. We are immortal creatures with a glorious purpose. These beasts are not worthy of your love.”

Aaron smiled at his brother, pulling on his Grace. “They are not beasts, Brother. They are the Chosen and our purpose is to help them. This one? He is mine and I am his and I will not continue to live without him.”

“You will come with me.”

“Come and get me.”

Amaranthiel flew up, darting away from his charging Brother. Morothiel was a good warrior, one he’d fought with side by side many times before. But as Aaron, Amaranthiel had learned how to observe, how to watch and learn. Profiling was a valuable skill, even for an angel. He knew his Brother’s fighting style, knew what to anticipate, how to fight back.

Once Amaranthiel was sure that they were far enough away to keep his Love safe, he turned and faced off against his Brother. The other angel glared at him, holding himself in a fighting stance before he yelled out, “You cannot win this, Brother. We are made to fight the evil souls - fight and win. You are weak and soft. I am not tainted by love. I will win.”

“That is where you are wrong,” Amaranthiel growled back as he adopted his own offensive stance. “I am not tainted by love - I am strengthened by it. How can you not see that this is humanity's greatest power? Love, mercy, passion? It makes them strong, gives them purpose. It gave **me** purpose.”

“Your purpose is to assist these lesser creatures to a better place. You will return with me now and forget this silliness.”

“I will not. You will let us go.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Then we are at an impasse.”

Amaranthiel noticed the change in his Brother as the angel shifted in the air before launching himself at him. Amaranthiel was ready for him and quickly adjusted in the air, easily evaded the attack before reaching out and catching his Brother on the back of his head as the other Angel flew past him. Morothiel shook his head, stunned at the move from his Brother. He spun, nearly growling as he grit his teeth and flew at his Brother again. This time he was too fast, too precise for Amaranthiel to evade and he plowed into the errant angel’s abdomen, wrapping his strong arms around his waist before turning and throwing him from the sky.

Amaranthiel felt himself plummeting to earth, nearly unable to stop his downward descent. He flapped his wings, fighting to regain control, and just before he made contact with the ground, he stopped, rising up toward the sky. He launched upward, catching the other angel by his left wing - Morothiel’s blind spot had always been his left side - and used all his strength to send him flying through the early morning sky, blocks away from Spencer and his warehouse.

Knowing he was short on time, Amaranthiel flapped his massive wings, desperate to get to his Love before his Brother. Landing in the warehouse, Amaranthiel materialized and demanded, “Something sharp!”

Before he could reach Spencer, Morothiel burst through the wall and slammed into his body, throwing him into the farthest wall. He heard Spencer cry out, startled by the sudden attack but he couldn’t stop and comfort him, not right now. Fists flew, finding their targets in his face, chest and abdomen. Morothiel was a consummate fighter, one of the best, but he had taught Amaranthiel and he was just as good, if not better.

They tangled together, fists flying and blows landing hard and fast. Amaranthiel used his human training and agility to flip his Brother around, getting the best of him. He could hear Spencer shouting at him, calling to him as he tried to help, but he worried that his Love might be hurt in the aftermath.

The fight was long and Amaranthiel was tiring. Morotheil was fueled by his righteous indignation, his belief that he was right. But Aramanthiel had something that his Brother did not - he had love.

Knowing what he had to do, Amaranthiel waited until he was within range and he let his Brother get close, letting him believe he had the upper hand. Morothiel came in close, landing blow after blow until he had his Brother pinned to the floor of the warehouse. Amaranthiel lay as still as he dared, blood pouring from his broken nose, dripping down his cheeks and into his mouth.

When Morothiel finally stopped, he asked, “Are you ready to come home now, Brother? Ready to give up this fantasy and admit that you were wrong.”

“Brother,” Amaranthiel whispered between heaving breaths. “I am not wrong. You are.”

Morothiel shook his head in exasperation. “Why can you not see that you’ve lost, that this is futile? What could be worth all of this?”

Amaranthiel smiled then, his bloody face and teeth making him look crazed and demented. Morothiel realized much too late his mistake. Amaranthiel shot out his hand which was immediately taken by Spencer. He pulled on all the love that Spencer had for him, took it into himself and surrounded it with his Grace. Reaching up, he placed his hand in the center of his Brother’s chest and released it all - all the love, all the pain, all the grief he’d felt in his human life and throughout the centuries he’d spent looking for his Spencer.

“Love.”

Morothiel flew off of him, disappearing out of the warehouse and into the haze and fog above them. Turning over quickly, Amaranthiel looked at Spencer, attempting a smile and failing horribly.

“You’re hurt,” Spencer said softly in the large warehouse.

“That is not a concern right now,” Amaranthiel gasped. “I need something sharp.”

“I have pruning shears.”

Amaranthiel shook his head. “Something bigger.”

“I have hoes and shovels - oh, and a hacksaw!”

“Give it to me!”

Spencer ran to his rack of tools along the wall and pulled off a large, sharp saw. When he handed it to his love, he asked, “What are you going to do with it?”

“I’m going to cut off my wings.”

Spencer looked at him in horror, trying to snatch the saw away. “What? No! You can’t!”

Amaranthiel moved away out of his reach, staring him down as he reached behind himself.  “I must. If I do not, they will take me away and erase me from your memory. I cannot let that happen.”

“What happens if you cut off your wings?”

“I become human and we will be together.”

Aaron felt Spencer staring at him in horror as he began to draw the blade over the juncture where his wings met his back. He cried out as the metal began to sever skin, flesh and tendons but he knew he couldn’t stop.

“Let me,” Spencer offered but Amaranthiel only shook his head.

“I must do this.”

“Then let me help.” Spencer reached up, holding the twitching wing still while the angel continued on his task. Blood began to pour from the wounds when veins and arteries were severed.  Finally, all that was left was the bone and sinew connecting him to his wings. With a rough pull and strong chop, he broke through, screaming at the pain.

Spencer immediately dropped the wing and grabbed some towels, pressing them against the wound.

“Aaron, wait! You’re bleeding too quickly.”

“I can’t. They’re coming.”

As he reached back with the saw to work on the other side, angels began to materialize before them. First one, then two, then more until the warehouse was nearly full.

“Amaranthiel,” Morotheil called out, standing before him. “Stop this madness and come home.”

“It’s too late,” Aaron gasped out, fighting against the massive amount of pain. “It’s already begun.” When he gestured down at the severed wing, he heard the gasps of his Brothers all around him.

“It’s not too late, Brother. The One can make you whole again.”

“I do not wish to be whole. I wish to be human.”

When he moved to resume ridding himself of his remaining wing, the angels began to move toward him until Spencer stepped before him, a pitchfork brandished in their direction.

“Leave him be,” Spencer growled as he stood his ground before his lover. Turning his head, he looked at Aaron and commanded, “Do it.”

Seeing the look of strength and love in Spencer’s eyes drove him on and Aaron quickly began to cut through the last vestige of his angelic life. The pain was excruciating and it felt like he was cutting out his very soul. Finally, the wing broke free and fell to the floor of the warehouse with a sickening thud. Looking at the floor, his severed wings flanking him, Amaranthiel succumbed to the pain and blood loss, collapsing to his knees.

“Aaron!” Spencer shouted as he darted around the kneeling man, quickly pressing the bloody towel to the stumps next to the man’s shoulder blades. “Aaron, please.”

“Amaranthiel!”

The room echoed with the name, the voice deep and rich, vibrating with power and authority. Aaron looked up, surprised to see The One walking toward him.

“What have you done?”

Amaranthiel looked up, staring into deep black depths of The One before him.

“I need him,” he whispered.

Dark eyes turned to regard Spencer. Amaranthiel wondered how his Love would measure up in the eyes of The One. To his credit, Spencer didn’t flinch or look away. Finally, he smiled.

“Humanity’s greatest asset is its ability to use free will. I always knew sending you to the world of men would set you on a path that I could not control. I never thought it would be something like this.”

Amaranthiel looked up, tears of fear and pain streaming down his cheeks.

“What will happen to us now?”

The One sighed, stepped directly before the two men kneeling before him. “You will live your lives. I hope you will use your time wisely.” Leaning forward, he touched Spencer lightly in the middle of his forehead. As soon as he made contact, the younger man wilted and collapsed to the floor. Amaranthiel gasped but froze under the gaze of The One before him.

“I will miss you, Amaranthiel. Take care of him.”

When the warm fingers made contact, he felt his left arm flare with pain as his mark on his arm burned raw and rough before all the pain left him and he was surrounded by blackness and he knew no more.  
                     
*************

“No, no, no!” Michael shouted as he jerked in his sleep and sat up in his bed. He was panting hard and was surprised at the tears on his cheeks as he clawed at the burning sensation flaring across his left shoulder.

“Hey,” he heard whispered in his ear as warm arms wrapped around him from behind. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

Feeling the love of his partner surrounding him, grounding him, he fought to slow his breathing and calm his pounding heart.

“Did you have that dream again?”

Michael nodded softly. “Yeah but it was slightly different this time. I was an angel and there was a fight.”

“Oh, an angel? Did you have wings? Were they white?”

Michael snorted. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No,” Reed chuckled, clutching him closer to his chest. “I really want to know. I kinda like the idea of you as an angel.”

“No. they were kinda leathery I guess.”

“Pretty.” Reed leaned up, moving around to place a small kiss on Michael’s lips. “I wonder why you’re having all of these crazy dreams lately.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But they are so vivid. I mean, seriously. I feel like I’ve gone of few rounds with an angel right about now.”

“Your shoulders again?”

He just nodded before turning to claim those lips with his own, sighing lightly into the kiss.

“Lay on your belly,” Reed commanded. Once Michael complied, he moved to straddle the strong thighs before he began running his hands over the planes of hard muscle and smooth skin before he began to dig into the tight muscles. Once he reached the shoulder blades, he pressed in deeply, surprised at the tension he found there.

“Goodness, Babe, what have you been doing? You have two huge knots right here.”

Michael groaned as the fingers worked the knots loose, releasing tight muscles and sending tingles of pleasure all through his body. He breathed deeply, fighting to relax as his lover worked over his back. Eventually, the young man finished before lying down, blanketing Michael’s body with his own.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Much. Thanks Reed.”

“Think you can get back to sleep, Babe? We have a long day tomorrow. We are going to present our findings with Gomez, remember?”

“Yes, Dr. Spencer. I remember.”

They settled down then, cuddling together. Michael sighed, taking his love in his arms.

“I love you, Dr. Reed Spencer,” he whispered as he settled down to sleep, his nose buried in soft, chestnut curls. “I will always love you.”

“From this life and into the next,” Reed whispered sleepily.

As he drifted off, Michael couldn’t help but feel he’d been here before, had said that before, but before he could remember, it was gone, drifting away into the night. He cuddled up into his love as he drifted off, knowing tomorrow would be a new day.

**END**

 

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite part of this was Aaron's mark of the amaranth. The name for it really is Love Lies Bleeding and how can you not love that. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting.


End file.
